My Grandpa Staheli has been battling Pancreatic Cancer since last October and out of the fear I might not see him for much longer, I've been thinking about him, his life, and how he's influenced my life so much.
Ever since I was little I can remember my Grandpa being such a prominent man who demanded respect. I was never really afraid of him, I just always knew better than to misbehave in front of him. He was so strong, and so big, and the kind of man you just didn't want to disappoint. He has always been a major part of my life, and he was a huge part of my decision to play piano (and to stick with it).
I started playing when I was 10 years old and in the 4th grade. My teacher was Yoshie Akimoto Eldrige - a world renown pianist, and my Grandpa and Grandma paid for my lessons. Just to paint the picture, I was ten years old and bigger than my piano teacher. Yoshie was this small and fragile Japanese woman with more force than you've seen in a 6 foot tall man. Her ability to make students cry was unmatched. Especially me, since I was never prepared for my lessons. Yoshie expected her students to practice 2-6 hours each day, come to 2 lessons each week, and have sleepovers at her house in which you would practice 10+ hours with her...it was torture for me. I was a spunky tomboy who wanted to play soccer, climb trees, and listen to loud music (and not classical music, for that matter).
How exactly I got into paino lessons, I'll never remember. I'm sure it was one of my "wants" of the week, and I probably brought it up to my mother, who played for more than 13 years, and she signed me up. Which is funny, because I'm pretty sure whenever I said "I want to ride horses" or "I want to rock climb" or "I want to play lacrosse" she just waited until I'd forget what I wanted and moved on to something else. But when I said "I want to play piano", that was one thing she was going to take advantage of and sign me up real quick, before I had a chance to change my mind.
And of course at first I thought I really did want to play piano. Until I realized this was not going to be easy and I lost interest real fast. But my mom wouldn't let me quit. She would guilt me into sitting on the piano bench for an hour each day (already cheating since I was supposed to be practicing two) by telling me "Grandma and Grandpa are paying for you. Do you want to tell Grandpa that you are wasting his money? Would you want to play this for Grandpa without learning it? You better practice."
That worked when I was younger but then as I grew older and more rebellious and more stubborn, not even her guilt trip worked. By then my mom had figured out a new tactic as well. She'd say "Fine, then you call Grandpa and tell him you are going to quit." So I would take the phone all defiant, call my Grandpa, and explain to him how I'm sorry but I hate piano and I'm quitting. And then it came...the long silence of him saying absolutely nothing on the other end of the phone. After what seemed like 5 whole minutes of pure silence, I'd hear him say "Callie...but why?" And my heart would sink into my stomach with the weight of disappointment in my Grandpa's voice and that was all it would take for me to say, "Okay, I'll give it another try." I'd hand the phone back to my mom, and stalk off, defeated, to the piano.
And so it continued that way for about 5 more years.
I think my mom was pretty relieved she had such a powerful back up. Because if it hadn't been for my Grandfather, I would never have lasted as long as I did. I eventually did stop taking piano lessons, and the compromise was that I would teach piano instead. I did that for about 6-8 months and then stopped altogether (finally).
Looking back on everything, I am so grateful I played piano growing up. I was a careless child who stumbled and screamed and ran away from everything. Piano taught me discipline. I learned to sit still for more than just 5 minutes, and I learned how to make something beautiful. I think playing piano really helped to soften me up (something that was hard to do since growing up with 3 brothers). And I learned how to feel in control of something - it was completely up to me whether I practiced and learned my pieces. It was completely up to me to memorize and make the piece come to life. And it was completely up to me to make my mom and Grandpa proud.
Piano helped in so many ways, and my piano teacher helped as well. I learned how to respect someone, even when they made me cry and feel ashamed. I learned how to dedicate myself to something. And I learned how to quickly read music and follow along with rhythm and hear when a sound was out of tune. Without my Grandpa, motivating me every step of the way, I would never have experienced or learned any of that. And the honest truth is, I just wouldn't be the same person today.
About the time I stopped playing piano and started teaching instead, I was looking at different colleges and trying to decide where I would go next. Miranda, my best friend, had plans to graduate a semester early her senior year and that sounded really enticing to me so I started looking into it while I was a junior. I doubled up on my English and Gym classes each semester to make it possible, and both of us starting making fantastical plans to travel the world and take water coloring classes in Italy, and save orphans in Costa Rica, and help build houses in New Zealand.
To be honest, we applied to do all of those things, and got in to each program. We were both accepted in "Leap Now" - a program that took a handful of students and for 3 months you traveled to Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia completely dedicating yourself to service projects. We also were accepted into a program that we would go to work at an orphanage in Costa Rica. And we were accepted at an art school in Italy where we fantasized about sharing a flat, taking Italian Language classes, and watercoloring. It all seemed wonderful to me..until we had to involve our parents.
Both of mine were skeptical about each program (and the costs ofcourse) and I could do nothing to convince them that it was a good idea. My mom turned to my Grandpa who got very involved, very quick. He called me many times telling me how I was not old enough, not mature enough yet to experience these things. He instead told me that it would be a good idea for me to go directly to college - and not just any college - but BYU-Hawaii.
I'll be honest, at first I hated the idea. I believed he was restricting me from doing something on my own, something I really wanted to do. My parents were behind his decision and I knew without their consent I'd never be able to go abroad to New Zealand or Costa Rica, so I started waying the pros and cons of BYU-Hawaii. Miranda and I talked it over and we started getting really excited about the prospect of being 17 in college in Hawaii. We made the decision to go and it's been one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I know without my Grandpa, I would never have been able to go there. I would have gone off and done something else, completely changing the events of my life. I would never have met all the amazing people I grew close to in Hawaii like Sloane and Richard and John. They're still my really good friends, and I'm so glad I went to Hawaii and met them and had all those experiences. Because of BYU-Hawaii I learned to have a fascination of different cultures and to study that. I also learned so many things about myself by being 17 at college. And being there also set me up with a curiosity to learn Spanish, which is why I ended up going to Spain on a study abroad.
If there's one thing I've learned from observing my life, it's that one choice can spiral a series of other choices and decisions and before realizing it, you're soaring down a different path. I have loved this about my life, and I owe it to my Grandfather. With every big decision I've made, I've consulted him (or he's interjected his opinion without me asking) and he's influenced the way I do things, the decisions I've made, the way I've run my life, and who I am.
He's the best person I know. He's the American Dream.
A small town farm boy from Hurricane, Utah who married his High School Sweetheart, attended Cedar College, graduated from Utah State, did his graduate work in Chicago, and made a name for himself as the CEO of Continental Grain. He's achieved unmeasurable success in business, and held his standards and values high above anything else. He's been a dutiful servant of the Lord, and he's been an incredible example for all who know him. Growing up I always felt so special having a general authority as a grandfather. The truth is, even without the titles, I feel so special having him in my life because of the person he is. He is my icon, my idol, my hero.
And he's nearing the end, and I'm so scared. I look back and think about all the times I haven't been able to be with him. I wish I could go back and make sure I spend more time with him, but all I can do is love him and pray for him and hope he knows how much we all care. I don't think he'll ever know how important he's been in my life. But some day I hope I'll be able to show him.
So here's to my grandfather, Donald Lafayette Staheli. You made me the person I am today.
Ever since I was little I can remember my Grandpa being such a prominent man who demanded respect. I was never really afraid of him, I just always knew better than to misbehave in front of him. He was so strong, and so big, and the kind of man you just didn't want to disappoint. He has always been a major part of my life, and he was a huge part of my decision to play piano (and to stick with it).
I started playing when I was 10 years old and in the 4th grade. My teacher was Yoshie Akimoto Eldrige - a world renown pianist, and my Grandpa and Grandma paid for my lessons. Just to paint the picture, I was ten years old and bigger than my piano teacher. Yoshie was this small and fragile Japanese woman with more force than you've seen in a 6 foot tall man. Her ability to make students cry was unmatched. Especially me, since I was never prepared for my lessons. Yoshie expected her students to practice 2-6 hours each day, come to 2 lessons each week, and have sleepovers at her house in which you would practice 10+ hours with her...it was torture for me. I was a spunky tomboy who wanted to play soccer, climb trees, and listen to loud music (and not classical music, for that matter).
How exactly I got into paino lessons, I'll never remember. I'm sure it was one of my "wants" of the week, and I probably brought it up to my mother, who played for more than 13 years, and she signed me up. Which is funny, because I'm pretty sure whenever I said "I want to ride horses" or "I want to rock climb" or "I want to play lacrosse" she just waited until I'd forget what I wanted and moved on to something else. But when I said "I want to play piano", that was one thing she was going to take advantage of and sign me up real quick, before I had a chance to change my mind.
And of course at first I thought I really did want to play piano. Until I realized this was not going to be easy and I lost interest real fast. But my mom wouldn't let me quit. She would guilt me into sitting on the piano bench for an hour each day (already cheating since I was supposed to be practicing two) by telling me "Grandma and Grandpa are paying for you. Do you want to tell Grandpa that you are wasting his money? Would you want to play this for Grandpa without learning it? You better practice."
That worked when I was younger but then as I grew older and more rebellious and more stubborn, not even her guilt trip worked. By then my mom had figured out a new tactic as well. She'd say "Fine, then you call Grandpa and tell him you are going to quit." So I would take the phone all defiant, call my Grandpa, and explain to him how I'm sorry but I hate piano and I'm quitting. And then it came...the long silence of him saying absolutely nothing on the other end of the phone. After what seemed like 5 whole minutes of pure silence, I'd hear him say "Callie...but why?" And my heart would sink into my stomach with the weight of disappointment in my Grandpa's voice and that was all it would take for me to say, "Okay, I'll give it another try." I'd hand the phone back to my mom, and stalk off, defeated, to the piano.
And so it continued that way for about 5 more years.
I think my mom was pretty relieved she had such a powerful back up. Because if it hadn't been for my Grandfather, I would never have lasted as long as I did. I eventually did stop taking piano lessons, and the compromise was that I would teach piano instead. I did that for about 6-8 months and then stopped altogether (finally).
Looking back on everything, I am so grateful I played piano growing up. I was a careless child who stumbled and screamed and ran away from everything. Piano taught me discipline. I learned to sit still for more than just 5 minutes, and I learned how to make something beautiful. I think playing piano really helped to soften me up (something that was hard to do since growing up with 3 brothers). And I learned how to feel in control of something - it was completely up to me whether I practiced and learned my pieces. It was completely up to me to memorize and make the piece come to life. And it was completely up to me to make my mom and Grandpa proud.
Piano helped in so many ways, and my piano teacher helped as well. I learned how to respect someone, even when they made me cry and feel ashamed. I learned how to dedicate myself to something. And I learned how to quickly read music and follow along with rhythm and hear when a sound was out of tune. Without my Grandpa, motivating me every step of the way, I would never have experienced or learned any of that. And the honest truth is, I just wouldn't be the same person today.
About the time I stopped playing piano and started teaching instead, I was looking at different colleges and trying to decide where I would go next. Miranda, my best friend, had plans to graduate a semester early her senior year and that sounded really enticing to me so I started looking into it while I was a junior. I doubled up on my English and Gym classes each semester to make it possible, and both of us starting making fantastical plans to travel the world and take water coloring classes in Italy, and save orphans in Costa Rica, and help build houses in New Zealand.
To be honest, we applied to do all of those things, and got in to each program. We were both accepted in "Leap Now" - a program that took a handful of students and for 3 months you traveled to Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia completely dedicating yourself to service projects. We also were accepted into a program that we would go to work at an orphanage in Costa Rica. And we were accepted at an art school in Italy where we fantasized about sharing a flat, taking Italian Language classes, and watercoloring. It all seemed wonderful to me..until we had to involve our parents.
Both of mine were skeptical about each program (and the costs ofcourse) and I could do nothing to convince them that it was a good idea. My mom turned to my Grandpa who got very involved, very quick. He called me many times telling me how I was not old enough, not mature enough yet to experience these things. He instead told me that it would be a good idea for me to go directly to college - and not just any college - but BYU-Hawaii.
I'll be honest, at first I hated the idea. I believed he was restricting me from doing something on my own, something I really wanted to do. My parents were behind his decision and I knew without their consent I'd never be able to go abroad to New Zealand or Costa Rica, so I started waying the pros and cons of BYU-Hawaii. Miranda and I talked it over and we started getting really excited about the prospect of being 17 in college in Hawaii. We made the decision to go and it's been one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I know without my Grandpa, I would never have been able to go there. I would have gone off and done something else, completely changing the events of my life. I would never have met all the amazing people I grew close to in Hawaii like Sloane and Richard and John. They're still my really good friends, and I'm so glad I went to Hawaii and met them and had all those experiences. Because of BYU-Hawaii I learned to have a fascination of different cultures and to study that. I also learned so many things about myself by being 17 at college. And being there also set me up with a curiosity to learn Spanish, which is why I ended up going to Spain on a study abroad.
If there's one thing I've learned from observing my life, it's that one choice can spiral a series of other choices and decisions and before realizing it, you're soaring down a different path. I have loved this about my life, and I owe it to my Grandfather. With every big decision I've made, I've consulted him (or he's interjected his opinion without me asking) and he's influenced the way I do things, the decisions I've made, the way I've run my life, and who I am.
He's the best person I know. He's the American Dream.
A small town farm boy from Hurricane, Utah who married his High School Sweetheart, attended Cedar College, graduated from Utah State, did his graduate work in Chicago, and made a name for himself as the CEO of Continental Grain. He's achieved unmeasurable success in business, and held his standards and values high above anything else. He's been a dutiful servant of the Lord, and he's been an incredible example for all who know him. Growing up I always felt so special having a general authority as a grandfather. The truth is, even without the titles, I feel so special having him in my life because of the person he is. He is my icon, my idol, my hero.
And he's nearing the end, and I'm so scared. I look back and think about all the times I haven't been able to be with him. I wish I could go back and make sure I spend more time with him, but all I can do is love him and pray for him and hope he knows how much we all care. I don't think he'll ever know how important he's been in my life. But some day I hope I'll be able to show him.
So here's to my grandfather, Donald Lafayette Staheli. You made me the person I am today.
1 comment:
i just cried a little
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